Every day I receive a series of emails notifying me that new members have signed up to be a Badass Business Woman.Whereas I should be celebrating, the past few weeks I have become more and more paralyzed by fear.
Fear that what I'm saying isn't really that important.
Fear that I don't really know what I'm talking about.
Fear that the real heroes for professional women (like Nell Merlino who I'm hanging out with down here in Mexico) will scoff at my silly little group.
And so I hold back. I write posts that I never publish. I second guess myself. Part of being a badass is admitting when you're scared so that the fear doesn't consume you in silence.
What do YOU fear? Where are you holding back?
I'm afraid the Summit will be a flop. I'm afraid I'll lose my voice before my big day at BK. I'm afraid I'll never meet Mr. Right. I'm afraid that if people know what I really think about politics, they won't like me anymore. I'm scared I'm not good enough. I'm scared I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm scared business will dry up. I'm scared of aging. I'm scared of menopause.I'm scared everything will come crashing down around me.
ReplyDeleteShall I go on?
I fear looking bad or being laughed at! Thank you for opening up the conversation Jessica.
ReplyDeleteI have to confess that I'm afraid my reel will be a flop when I post it online and send it to Digital Domain. I'm making myself work past it. The welfare and peace of my precious BAIT ("Baddass-In-Training") depends on it.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid that I will miss out, on finding out my full potential!!! That I would miss out on a blessing/opportunity because of my lack of education. I fear a doctor telling me that I can't have kids...
ReplyDeleteHello Fear, There I admitted, now you will not consume me in silence!!!! I will not believe your lies and I WILL live my God given potential!!!
Thank you Jessica for being so honest and giving us the opportunity for us to do the same!!!!
I think the definition of courage should be doing something when you are afraid. strength comes when you when you are afraid to do something and do it anyway.
ReplyDeleteand having the strength to admit that you are afraid is a real bad ass woman!
hats off to you!
i'm afraid that all the dreams I have for my future won't come true. I'm afraid I will be a let down to the people that have supported me and believed in me. but, we take life one day at a time. shoot for the stars...
Let's talk about this idea of being afarid of sharing your "silly little group" with people who can contribute and further your goals for Badass.
ReplyDeleteOnly part of what you say here is true. Badass IS little. Badass is NOT silly.
About being little - Indeed Badass may have a few hundred memebers in this moment. I just heard on the news today that Facebook has over 550 million members!?!?!? Wow - now that's BIG. Relative to a group the size of Facebook, Badass is little. However, there was a time when Facebook, and any meaningful organization with lots of members, was also little. It's the nature of growth there is no shame in being "little."
About being silly - Merriam Webster defines "silly" as "helpless, weak or frivious." I'm not sure when or how the word "silly" crept into the badass vocabulary but it should be removed immediately. Part of being a badass is being truthful and clealy this new classification as "silly" could not be farther from the truth. Stop using it immediately.
Don't waste this opportunity you have right now in Mexico with some of the most influential business minds of our time being afraid to share your "silly little group." These are the people who can transform your "Badass little group" into a "Badass big group."
I was afraid of being the only one having my fear moments, but the above feedback confirms I am not alone. Thank you all for sharing your fears and inspiring feedback.
ReplyDeleteI am afraid that more and more homes and jobs will be lost, as well as families separated due to the financial and economic crisis.
I fear that disease, suicide and crime will increase due to decreased morale, sadness and stress in households.
I am afraid children are also feeling, seeing and hearing the stressful conversations at home.
I am afraid individuals will give up on their dreams and passions because of their stress with loss of hope.
I am afraid to be afraid so I focus on my dreams and passions. This focus helps me to continuously create positive change while working with strategic partners who will help those individuals in need of dreaming again so each individual creates their own new business to foster economic sustainability in communities - because no one individual can create change alone.
I'm 58 yrs old and I am always been afraid of something.It changes with age, but it's there. What would have happened if I stayed with ???? Will my kids be ok? Now its my job,my health,paying for my condo, will I work forever? What do the people think who read my blogs? Why did I throw money into starting a business when I should be putting into retirement?
ReplyDeleteI've learned that fear is a motivator for me to keep going and do my best.
Michelle, menopause is not bad! I survived it and came out sassy and wise!
Chief Bad Ass
Your doubts endear you to us, because you really do get it. You throw this at us, and we do read it. We think about you and what you've said, it touches us, and we go to the truth inside and share with this loving tribe. We are better because of it.
Thanks to all of you, you do lift my spirit!
Bev Vaughn
Travel Rx
I would like to thank everyone who faced fear in its face and shared your own fears within this forum. It really lifts my spirits to know that I am not alone in fearing what this world is coming to with all these economic problems that face people in all walks of life. That I am not alone in fearing that one day I could lose my home, I could lose my job, I could lose my financial stability and not be able to finish school.
ReplyDeleteThank you all, and especially Chief Bad Ass for starting this topic. My hat is off to you madam.
I fear being not being inspiring, motivating and life-changing enough for the teens I teach. I fear not being able to touch as many lives as I want to. I fear not being able to make a living out of doing the work I truly love. I fear not being able to translate my thoughts into words accurately. I fear being alone.
ReplyDeleteBut you, Chief, should know that I'm proud to be a fellow Bad Ass and thankful that you started this great tribe.
Please delete my membership!!! I though this was a professional site.
ReplyDeleteI fear that all this is put on and so I am triple fearful to share my fears for fear that I really AM the only one...
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that I am glad I joined this group because as I usually feel fearless, the last week has been like a living hell for me, and the fear really took over.
ReplyDeleteBut reading these comments, (and someone had to write them, whether they be from the heart or not) makes me feel like I am not alone. I have always been an independent, intelligent woman who thought that I was overcoming whatever was in front of me at that time.
Lately, the fear of failure has been more of a reality than usual. Feeling like I was backed into a corner and couldn't get out was paralyzing!
But in talking with the women in my little, tiny network has made me realize that I have accomplished much more than I realize. Just so happens that when you reach for such high stars, when you fall - you fall much harder than the normal woman. So we feel it more than normal.
So I have learned this week that the more people you have around you - the better! You can't do it alone! Being a freelancer and a "solo" entrepreneur makes for a very lonely day and if you don't have some kind of network around you - you will face your fears alone! NOT GOOD!
So thank you for starting the movement - I found you today - and will be forever grateful for finding out that I am not the only BADASS WOMAN out there who actually feels "human" feelings once in a while!