This morning I got an email from one of my favorite Badass Business Women. She told me that I was too touchy feely, and that I made her uncomfortable.
For a moment I was mortified. I wanted to shrink back, to be careful, to check myself. Nobody had ever complained about that before, and was totally embarrassed.
Then I thought back to all the things people have told me in the last 10 years:
You’re too touchy feely.
You’re too domineering.
You’re too loud.
You’re too gay.
You’re too punk rock.
You’re too unprofessional.
You’re too opinionated.
You’re too wild.
I thought back to all the moments I could have beat myself up and shut down my true self-expression to avoid offending people.
Part of being a badass is listening to people, respecting them, and apologizing when appropriate. (And that’s what I did this morning)
But a real badass doesn’t shut down, play safe, or conform to what other people think you should be like.
So will I stop being affectionate? No. That’s who I am. Touchy feely. Domineering. Loud. Gay. Punk rock. Unprofessional. Opinionated. Wild.
And proud of it.
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Jessica, I hope you did not apologize to the person who told you,you were to touchy feely. The fact is you DID NOT make anyone feel anyway. Thye chose to feel that way and to say it made them feel uncomfortable... well that is there problem NOT YOURS! Never ever apologize for being yourself. It is right to listen and respect others, but you have nothing to apologize for. Whoever this person is, they need to take a look in the mirror and ask themselves why they would be embarassed at a person being touchy feely. Maybe thy never had that kind of warm and loving and caring embrace. Certainly though it IS NOT YOU!
ReplyDeleteBe the bad ass compassionate person you are! Be true to you!
Signed a man who admires bad ass compassionate caring women!
Jessica, way to go and I love that you apologized as a gift to her not as an apology of who you are. You are an inspiration and thank you for sharing yourself and your life. You kick some serious ass!
ReplyDeleteMaria
Personally, I love touchy-feely. And loud. And opinionated. And wild. And unprofessional. Etc, Etc.
ReplyDeleteApologizing is cool, not shutting down is POWERFUL.. my bad ass sister (opinionated)
ReplyDeleteYOU ROCK! (loud)
ps: I am writing this naked (unprofessional)
:-)
Zealous....or OVER-zealous...
ReplyDeletePoweful...or Dominating...
Optimistic...or a little "too" bubbly...
Quirky...waaaaaaaaay out there!!
However others view you is "KEWL"
how you view you, is "BAD ASS"
United from the genDersphere,
Tabatha
Drag It Out, Inc.
Dear CBA,
ReplyDeleteDO NOT allow any ONE person, under any circumstance to shake your self confidence!
This is a great quote, from a great woman.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Elanor Roosevelt
change the word inferior to "uncomfortable"
it fits nicely.
Bev
Here's one for you....
ReplyDeleteYou're too awesome.
BadAss Jessica...
ReplyDeleteYou have helped me embrace and celebrate my uniqueness. Feeling that empowerment, I must say I'm pleased (yet not surprised) that you, yourself, are walking your talk and leading by example.
Cheers, my lovely and powerful friend!
Doc
(Caron Alexander van Deventer, PhD)
Exactly Jessica.
ReplyDeleteWe are who we are!
Fxxx those who want to challenge it. C'est la vie, live and let live and all the rest of the canned sayings.. our differences are what make the world go around. Imagine if everyone were a "Stepford Wife", yawn yawn. What makes us all real (and badass) is that we do stand up AND STAND OUT, and are not afraid to do so.
Martina
Clearly what I've heard you declare is that being a Badass Business Women is all about being the most Authentic BADASS you can be, whatever that looks like. No one can be any more BADASS than you, as you define it. If it's too touchy, feely to some...oh well. Not everyone will get it, and that's OK. And those that do, are your true community.
ReplyDeleteI just heard you speak today at my first Women's Success Summit and I truly related with your style and genuine ability to help other women. In order to do so, you need to be yourself and that you are. You impressed me so much that I had to search for who you were and this is one of the post I found. I relate wholeheartedly and sometimes having someone tell you that who you are makes them feel uncomfortable is merely a reflection of who they are...they are uncomfortable with who you are and you affected that one person to look at how being who you are is the best gift you can ever give yourself and others. Keep up the amazing work you do and see you tomorrow for day two.
ReplyDelete